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So I am a high school senior and currently I am having issues with my dad. He barks like a dog and starts yelling for no reason, he whines and complains about everything, he tells me that if I tell the truth he will not get mad at me but he does and as a result I have to lie, he won't even let me be independent and whines about me not being independent (example: won't even let me have my own bank account and then whines about me not having my own bank account), he makes promises and breaks them heavily (a main issue I am having with him right now) and HE IS RUDE (to everyone, teachers at my school and other students alike). He has some serious issues and at times I cannot even put up with him, at times I wish god would make his time on earth pass quickly and rid him of whatever misery he has going on in his life. A problem I am having with him right now, he told me that if I make ALL As my junior year of high school he will send me to the college of my choice and try his best to pay for it, as long as it is not over 40k. Well okay now I am a senior and I have the SAT scores and the grades, he goes BACK on his word and says that he won't pay more than 10k per year for my college. Seriously, the audacity of this guy! Oh and another thing, before I took the SATs in October, he told me not to worry about college admissions or looking for colleges and 1 day AFTER the SATs he gets all pissed off about me being lazy and looking at colleges to apply to. I wish I could afford therapists because this guy needs MORE THAN ONE. Just today, I told him about the SAT scores for a college I want to go to, he said well the cost must be high, I said it is about 19k per year for out of state tuition and he yells at me and tells me not to worry about cost and just to worry about college admissions, SERIOUSLY, does this guy have Alzheimers or something!? He does nothing when my little brother is playing videogames for 6 hours straight (not exaggerating, a 7 year old playing videogames 6 HOURS straight) and when I tell him to get off and get some rest he yells at me for trying to "assume his role as a parent". JESUS CHRIST, LIKE YOU WERE EVER A GOOD PARENT! Now he makes me apply to 5 out of state colleges (I APPLAUD HIM FOR THAT) BUT WAIT before I could applaud him, NOW he tells me that I will probably end up at a college in state (yes in this crappy bible belt southern state full of rednecks) because he ain't paying that out of state tuition. WORST of all he bashes my dreams, he tells me I have no shot at MIT or Yale and then yells at me for wanting to go there. He tells me he is being "realistic" (yea realistically speaking he is a fat turd who I am stuck with as a father, if reincarnation is real then I must have been a rapist/serial killer/glutton in my last lifetime and this is how god punishes me, I much rather be a lab mouse rather than this guy's son!). I am a high school senior and I have enough problems already, my life is a living ruckus. I have to deal with the excessive homework given to me by my magnet school (a magnet school is a specialized school for "bright" kids and it gives a lot of homework), I have to deal with college admissions and PRAY that I leave this god forsaken state for college and last but not least I have to put up various extra curriculars. Btw, my dad is Asian if that makes any difference. So please, how do I deal with my dad? I talked to him about his temper problems but he DENIES them, I talked to him about issues with running his mouth but he tells me that I should be grateful that I don't have parents who beat me down. PS: Don't be surprised if you hear about me on the news because I will give that guy an MMA-like beatdown if he DARE raises his hand at me, I am 17 and I am tired of his crap.
I am an Asian American and I have heard too much racial crap in this deep south state, I aspire to go to washington or New Jersey for college, at least not this state! Oh and another thing, HE MADE me attend a difficult high school so I have a tough time getting a high GPA, and he gives me so much problems at home my freshman and sophomore year that I go emo and this guy makes my GPA drop, how can I focus on school work when this idiot is giving me a difficult time!?
If your dad reads this insult, he will probably cry himself to death. Anyways, look man you gotta view things from a positive perspective. 1. You ain't going to college out of state but heck, the state you live in is probably a big state and you will be out on your own, free from his hypocrisy. Stay in state if you have to, at least he can't whine about college costs. 2. Least you have a dad, yea we know he is giving you a bad time but at least you are not a kid who grows up without a father. Kids who grow up without fathers are more likely to turn into Felons and criminals. 3. You are going to college, and when you go to college you will probably not see him again. Your dad will not be able to make your decisions for you and as a result he will end up not being a big part of your life. You will not see your dad much after your senior year in high school, enjoy (yes I said the bad word) the times you have with him right now, laugh when he yells at you and smile when he fusses at you, as a result life will seem easier and he will calm down. 4. If the yelling gets serious, walk out of your room and simply ignore it. Do your work, distract yourself and when time comes he will try to yell at you by entering your room. Simply keep a straight face and be calm, he will lose the power he has over you when he yells. 5. Try not to talk to him, ignore him and simply just mind your own business. When that happens he will realize what he is doing wrong and as a result he will ease. 6. Your dad wants what is best for you and you are too hard on him for this. College applications cost MONEY, if he wants you to mail those off then do it, he is probably making you spend that money because he WANTS you to go out of state. 7. Don't take this the wrong way but I have read your questions, a 3.2 GPA and a 1940 SAT score will not get you into MIT, unless you raise that SAT to at least a 2300, an MIT admission is a far reach for you. If you raise that SAT to a 2300 then you should apply to MIT but still, that is a VERY competitive college and acceptance there is a flip of a coin, yes you have to call it heads or tails in order to get in. Apply to private colleges, small Jesuit league schools, they given tons of merit aid. 8. Breathe and do some schoolwork, read something or do some push ups. You only have to deal with your dad for a few months and then he is out of your life. 9. MMA Beatdown? Now you are telling me that you would use your bigger frame to take down a nearly elderly man, just relax, it will all work out.
The good news is your almost done dealing with it! after this year you can go to college and get some dad free space. Now in your dads defense, whether he is right or wrong, I can almost assure you that he believes he is right, and he is trying to do the best thing for you. There is financial aid, scholarships, grants, work study programs, and of course loans, that can help to pay for college. I just started school last year, and I applied for a student loan. I dont really see how your dad could stop you once you turn 18, unless he plans on withholding his financial input if you do it. Student loans arent always a good thing either. I would suggest finding any other resource to pay for school before you even contemplate student loans. And on top of all that, if you go to a special school for highly intelligent youth, I dont think it is unrealistic to want to go to MIT or Yale. Do what you can on your part, and make sure you have looked into all the resources available, and you should be okay. Good Luck!!!
Breathe breathe and calm down just wait til your 18 and do what you want he cant stop you from getting a loan and going for your dreams so just relax dont bother arguing with this man you just wont win figure out what you are going to do get your plan in motion and when you graduate your gonna be ready to go off to college and live a great life just play it smart no reason to let him get you all worked up its not worth it
Just start taking responsibility for yourself. It won't be long and you will be out of his house. Yeah, parents suck at times, but that's just the way your life is apparently, get used to it. As for the payment of college, a lot of parents don't pay ANYTHING toward college, so consider yourself lucky. Extremely effing lucky.
Leave Leave apply for loans apply for grants apply for scholarships...Anything you can do get a job while you go to school prove this "dad" wrong you sound very bright and seem to have a good head on your shoulders even though he raised you. Go for your dreams and shoot for the stars don't let him hold you back why won't he let you take out a loan is it his choice no...you don't need him for it.
Im not really sure what to say but good luck. he might have something seriously wrong with him. if hes bipolar, which it sounds like he may be, he wont remember being "two people" practically... but if you can get him to a dr to check him out maybe that would be good. bc theres meds for all of that kinda stuff.
Whether you agree with him or not,I haven´t met one real father who wants his son to fail. As long as he´s the guding one listen to him and do as you´re asked. If you fail get back up and do it the way you deem it necessary.
Wow thats really long