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I am 18 years old, I will be 19 in 2 weeks, and I was going to move out last summer and my mom told me to stay at home and save money. I need to buy/lease a car so that I can get a full-time job and start making more money (I make $8.54 an hour working part-time) but lately my hours have been getting killed. My managers keep yelling at me and cutting my hours because this pervert I work with calls me lazy even though he sits around all day telling me what to do. Yes, I have told HR and my GM. GM said she "talked to him" but nothing came of it. There are no other jobs within walking distance unfortunately so I'm stuck there... Anyway my mom keeps asking for more and more things... I only make $500 a month if I'm lucky but she won't let me eat any of the food in the house (I have to buy my own groceries and store them separately), she kicked me off of the cell phone plan (no home phone), she makes me pay for the cable and internet and then asks for $150 in rent each month. I recently let them cut the internet and cable because I cannot afford it. I realize it doesn't sound like that much but when I spend $150 on rent + ~$100 in food + $65 phone bill + $70 student loans + $50 for my first credit card (I put my phone on it to build credit, only for 6 months) I don't have anything left over, and now she's asking for MORE rent... I keep telling her she is holding my life up and I'm trying to save for school and get a new job and she goes off on me because she's poor... yet she keeps bringing furniture and new clothes and co-op foods home... I don't know what to do at this point, I feel like everyone else has these nice supportive parents and mine is just holding me back... please could someone give me advice? I feel like I'm stuck and it's making me pretty sad
Thank you for the support and suggestions guys. I can see already it's gonna be tough choosing a best answer. I don't really have any friends or family I can stay with and rent around here is really expensive because it's a college town, not to mention I don't have a car to get to work with. And I know my mom isn't even THAT poor, she has a master's degree and works for the school district making around $38k/year...
Yes, your mother is getting you for every penny you have. Instead of trying to help you succeed in life, she is sucking the life out you. You need to find a room mate or something, and get the hell out of there. Does she expect you to support her? I cannot BELIEVE she makes you buy and store your own food! My advice to you is to STOP paying for rent and all the other stuff you pay.She can kick you out, but she has to do it legally, first in writing, then if that doesn't work, through the court. I'm sure that she will not want to spend the money for court to get her own son evicted because he won't pay all the bills. Give her your portion of the rent to live there in your own house, and that's IT. If I were you, I would try to find another part time job so you can save money quicker. Don't let her ruin your credit at 18. You sound like a good, responsible young man.
Figure out what her illness is and if the medication is necessary for her survival. If its not, perhaps meant to ease the symptoms or battle an infection, agree to loan a certain amount less than what she asks for. Gradually decrease this. Then if she asks for frivolous things, like school supplies, say no. Or lie and say you don't have extra money right now. If she gets mad tell her you'll still help pay for medicine but you aren't going to spend your money on something that isn't necessary for her to live.
Well, you should deff keep tring to get out if that situation! But in the mean time try some assistance till y get up to speed. Its easy, try for liheap its energy assistance and food stamps. Soubds like it sucks but foodstamps are loaded onto a card and the energy assistance can let tou actually enjoy a hot shower and help with heat in the winter. If you get enough stamps you could even work something out where you cover the food in the house if ur mom covers electricity under assistance. Look into it and apply! Makes a world of difference, my bf and i get 300a stamps a month just the 2 of us and like 150 credits towards our electricity during cold months.
Can you rent a room from a friend or find a room for rent? That"s terrible that you have to keep your food separate. My daughte and I help each other cos you never know when either of us will fall on hard times. If I have extra money I help her,if she has extra she helps me. Your mom should also find a room to rent if she cannot afford things on her own,or maybe she can get a roomate to help her more. Don't turn your back on her but don't let her bring you down either.
Hannah, we hear only 1/2 of the story but I bet you are not that goody two shoe as you picture yourself. Anyhow, I don't know what part of the Country you are at but here in pennsylvania the cheapest room goes for $500.00 per month plus utilities. Start adding up!
You're an adult and she has no right to hold you back. Just move out of the house and abandon her. Tell her that she can take care of her freeloading *** herself. If she suffers, that's her problem. Oh, and videotape the pervert whenever he's surfing for porn. That'll get the pervert canned.
Well your mom spent 18 years raising you and spending money on you, so you owe her 18 years back lol She doesn't have to support you, since you're an adult, but since you are living in her home, her rules are her rules. If you want to somehow convince her to not ask you for money, then, well, I'm not a psychologist/interrogator/negotiator/dip... I don't bend people's will to my liking.