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I'm married(if u want to call it that). I have 4 boys he has 4 boys, 1 daughter. He and I have had a very hard road. My family is accepting, easy going and welcome him in no matter what he's done to me, they believe thats between he and I. His family is stuck up and medaling. His immediate family that is close by consists of sister, brother-n-law, brother, sister-n-law, kids and some close family friends. His entire family, except kids, has never in 6 years ever sat down to have a conversation with me. They have no idea what my childrens names are. They have been rude and extemely mean ever since they met me. All they do is try to fix my husband up with other women, it makes no since. They pueposely try to make us fite by doing crazy things and sometimes it works. He used to fall for their crap before we got married but now he doesn't. His children as they get older do the same stupid stuff. When life isn't going well for them then they come to me, if they need help they come to me. But any other time I'm just plain white trash. Well I'm from the north not the south. I work, have had the same job since I was 17 now i'm 34....NONE OF THE WOMEN pennsylvania THIS FAMILY WORK....ABSOLUTELY NONE OF THEM!!! So i'm the odd ball, anyway his 18 year old and girlfriend jsut had a baby in May. The son wants my husband to divorce me and move in with his girlfriends mom, so that him and his girlfriend can get their own place. They cant do this because the girlfriends mom has no one to take care of her.....it gets dumber. well because my husband wont do that, were not allowed to see the baby, not for even a minute. The oldest boy has a 2 year old and because dad refuses to get rid of me and allow the 23 year old son, 22 year old wife and 2 year old boy to move back in, my husband cant see that grandchild. It gets dumber, the reason we dont wont them living with us is because the daughter-n-law in that relationship wond do anything at all to help around the house, doesn't work, and wont take care of the baby. She sits at home all day, has her friends over eats up all the food and wont even buy toilet paper. Her and my husbands son has friends in all hours 7 days a week and when we ask them to party elsewhere at 1 or 2 am because we have to get up at 4 and 6am to work its a big fite. we let them move in for 4 months when she first got pregnant. My husband threw them out, I had nothing to do with it. i was gone for 2 weeks out of town, and he said for 6 days she would not do the laundry, dishes or grocery shopping and he kept giving her money. Oh, it get dumber. The other 2 teenage children that still live with their mother refuses to see their father because he wont support their mother beyond child support. she had to get a job!!! mind blower there!! It isn't right they say and until he agrees to get rid of me and support their mom totally so she can stay home "where she belongs" they wont even speak to their father. This breaks his heart. Then theres the 5th son, he and his girlfriend are real people.....whodda thunk? so recently i moved out, moved 200 miles away with my 4 boys who think the whole thing is crazy too. my boys are 17, 16, 14 and 6. anyway since we moved away from the circus from another planet, because these people cant be from earth, nothing has changed. My husband is alone and his family is still mistreating him because he wont support his sister who is now going thru a divorce and his ex-wife? duh! he pays child support 1053.00 per month....my husband works hard and they jsut want to take advantage of him. he still cant see his grand-children and 4 of his kids still disrespect him and act like he isn't alive. since i moved away the one boy called pennsylvania and asked for a loan of 800.00, i said no. He asked if i would talk to dad for him i told him no. the other called and asked me to co-sign for him a car, i said no to that. if they want me out of his life so bad why are the calling me for every little issue??? makes no since. my poor husband drives 200 miles every friday after a 14 hours work day to spend the weekend with me and he keeps it a secret tells his family hes working on the road or the tear up his house and cars if they think his is up north with me. he sneaks to see me because he loves me and wants me to come home.....i left so he could have his family but nothing changed, in fact its worse. he wont move north with me because of work. i transferred to keep my career but he would have to start over. I'm actually liveing this nightmare and cant possibly understand how one entire family can be so, well I cant find a word for it???? me and my children have a quiet normal life away from them. Can any of you NORMAL people out there figure this out? I've been in the middle to long, HELP!!!! i really think that for my sanity and my children i should go thru witht the divorce,,,,,,,im sure there are normal men with normal families out there somewhere on planet earth
OMG! wow. This sounds like the life I just left. My husbands family was the same way. Maybe not pennsylvania bad, but definatley the same! I was tired of feeling unaccepted and like "white trash". We were married 10yrs ago for 2yrs. I left for 6yrs pretty much because of the same reasons. We got back together this time for 2 more yrs. I just left again and got my own apt that I pay for with MY own job. I DO NOT HANDLE stress well. And besides..."why should I???" I remove things from my life that cause me stress. This means people, places and things! It really feels good to me to be on my own, w/o all that sh*t going on. Although I can't tell you if there are normal men out there with normal families yet...because I have NOT met any yet...but I am hoping so just like you. I do think you should go through the divorce, and look. GOOD FOR YOU! Some people live in those circus' because they are helpless and don't have the capacity to move on. YOU are not one of those people. And if you "just need attention" by writing all of that, then again "good for you". Because now it isn't gonna stew and brew inside of you. It is all gone. You CAN continue to move on. DO NOT step backwards. You HAVE made the right decisions. Do not second-doubt yourself one bit. Go, now and be free to do and feel as you wish...happy. I wish you all the luck in the world and am very proud of you! (as i am w/me)
You ar right your husband have no spine, I remember when I ask my husband what his parents has said about us getting married (because I have 3 children from a previous marriage ) he said their opinion is not his concern and my opinion and his were what matters, we have been married for 5 years and so far I am the only one that his parents talk to and spent time as far as daugther in laws are concern, they take care of my children even if it makes the rest of the family unhappy, they travel with me I never know what was their original opinions were but I can only imagine, because they did not meet me until after the marriage since I actually live in a different country then them(me US, them France) no matter what was said in the past I know from the time I have meet them they have act like parents to me in you case it is nothte same and for things to change your husband has to be the one that make it happen, he needs to understand Love is not for sale he can't buy it from his children, he also need to realized that at the end of the day that love will not last he needs to seek counseling and try to work on his marriage to you
You must realize that you can not change these people. You must accept them just like they are . . . and if they are leaches who don't have their life in order and expect others to support them or raise their children . . . then that is the best you can expect from them. He has 'raised' a couple of boys with not much guidance if they think if is ok to get your girlfriend pregnant and then it will be fine to live under mom/dad's roof. He apparently never set any rules in his household and you are seeing the results (offspring) of not parenting your children. You should have known by the second date that this was a dysfunctional family that will never live up to 'normal' standards. Move on before any of it rubs of on your own family.
Whoa!!! looks like you have a lot of pent up frustration. My advice is to talk talk talk. Communication is always key. Also i am a strong believer in therapy. Just from he shear volume of your question I think it might be helpful. Try
Pack your bags take your kids and run, why would you ever live like that, let the girl friend deal with it run, close the door on him and lock it, deleat that life,
Instead of solving the issue, you typed it onto the internet for the world to see your dirty laundry, that's pretty bitchy if ya ask me. Need attention much?
Take the kids and run for your life............... Start again somewhere else with someone else.
DANG...I can't read all that.