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I feel used. I gave him a gift on Thanksgiving. He did not even give me a card. I got him some things for Christmas, and a card. He did not even give me a card. (I know that he was broke after paying his bills.) My freind told me to wait and to see if he gets me anything for Valentine's day and if not, break it off. Here is the deal. It is not about the money. It is just the idea, that it feels like I am worth absolutely nothing to him. 1. At one time we were engaged, we went to get the marriage license. It was 20 bucks, he pulls ten out of his pocket and then looks at me and asks me to pay the other ten. (Ended up that I put a hold on marriage and we went back to being bf and gf.) 2. I have bought him books, lap top, etc, etc. 3. I have paid for every single date. 4. I have given him over a hundred dollars cash out of my own pocket. Am I being used? Am I in the wrong for wanting to break up?
He did say that he realized later that he should have paid for the license and that he felt like an *** for that, and for not even getting me a card at Christmas. However, enough is enough. I'm fed up getting used. Here are the other reasons I that I feel like I am not worth **** to him. 1. He loves to talk about past woman in his life. About how beautiful they are, etc, etc. Then he goes and later tells me how he thinks I'm pretty, etc. Feels like such bullcrap. He knows I hate hearing about other woman. It is a turn off, when he does this. Makes me want nothing to do with him. 2. From the time we have gotten together he has refused to tell me his past. He keeps making what feels like excuses about it. I have given him chance after chance, I have given him time and undertanding. Now, I realize, maybe he does not trust me enough to tell me his past. Whatever the REASON. It feels like I do not mean enough to him, that he does not have enough respect for me to tell me.
3. The latest thing that has made me mad is and has completely turned me off. Is that he can talk all the talk he wants to. He can say "I love you" until he is horse. He can not walk a word of it. I email him. I tell that I emailed him. Then I emailed him again, and told him. He does not check it for two weeks. I really mean a lot to him huh? Then he gives me some lame excuse. Then tries sweet talking, and then says; "Did I answer your questions?" 4. Another sign that I mean nothing to him is, that last time I broke up with him. Next thing that he tells me is that he has created a profile on a dating site. He sure got over me fast, didn't he? No, doubt as soon as I break up with him again, he will just be looking for the next girl to go out with. Is not the dating sight, enough evidence for that? 5. I have already given him enough chances. I have woken up. Not going to be so naive anymore. My friend says wait until after V day, then do it. Okay, I will wait.
6. NOW, for the big question. HOW many woman on here would put up with this? Ok, men and woman. Tell me am I being OVER sensitive? He says that I am. What do you say? IF I FEEL like I am being used, maybe it is because I am. Right? Oh ya, I left something out. I let him live under my roof the first two and half months, he paid no rent or utilities, I let it slide, because I thought he had no cash. Only to discover he had a hundred bucks on him. After I had given him some extra cash around ten bucks some time that week. Would you believe that he "loves" me? All he cares about is his SELFISH, stingy, self, and his "hobbies".
In his defense I will say that later we started splititng everything fifty/fifity. 7. Around New Years, I was having a rough time. I was very serious. I was going to kill myself. It was no joke, no lie. I emailed him two weeks later and told him, told him that I still had these thoughts. He emails me one simple stupid line and aske me a question in the subject heading of the email. Then calls me later, and merely brushes it off. That was just a part of the end of our relationship for me. I could kill myself and he would not kill. I was going to start my truck and put something in the muffler and end it all. I was real close to doing it. At least now, I know that the next time I get to feeling that low. The next time it is no longer a thought, but a matter of when. At least I know he will be okay, and it won't hurt him any if I do. He is does not even see that he is just a smooth talking jerk. He could care less about my feeling, he just smoothes it all over.
Lastly, It has become obvious to me. I am not worth a penny of his money. He would probably rather be dead than spend a penny on me. (The REAL evidence here is that, he can give the beautiful girl, he loves to talk about $15.00 bucks, before he and I get together. But the whole time we are together he can't pay for anything. His last chance is long gone.) I am NOT worthy of knowing his past. I do not mean enough to him for him to disclose that to me. I am NOT anything to him, in regards that he would care to read or show enthusiasm about my email. All I am to him is just someone he wishes to whisper empty nothings to and show no action. He cannot walk anything. He doesn't care enough about my feelings, to label them anything other than "sensitive" and he does not understand me. To think that I thought I loved him so much, that I would be dead if I could not have him. Yet, he would not care if I was? I've woken up, and I've had tons of guys SHOW me, what I deserve.
Nothing is going to wake this bum up sweetie. He's a good for nothing scumbag. He will laugh it off, say he got busted and go off and find some other sugar momma. I hate to tell you that, but that's reality. You are a treasure and deserve someone to treat you as such. Life is way too short to waste it on someone like that. You know you are worth more than that and once you are free of him, you will feel so much better. Personally, I wouldn't wait until Valentine's Day, but I would get as much of the stuff back that I bought him first though...Best of Luck, you deserve it! Now don't ever let anyone treat you that way again.
By dusk_of_... Member since: March 19, 2006 Total points: 303 (Level 2) I wouldn't have put up with it after the Marriage Liscence but that's me. It he can't even have the pride/love/excitement in getting that, I don't see where he's going to have it later on. If he can't deam you worthy enough to tell you about his past, get rid of him. Now if there was some kind of reason behind it like a trouble childhood, okay. Now if he really cared he would have said something other than some stupid subject line in an email and a question after you told him you wanted to kill yourself. That shows no love at all. I say get rid of him before Valentines and find someone new. Some one who will come to your rescue when you need it, not when its convieniant for him.
There are some people that are not capable of giving love because of their background. He may have come from a dysfunctional family. In that case he can not help himself. His family probably didn't show him the love that they should have among other things. It is never just one thing. No matter what you do, it will not improve. Do not wait until Valentine's day. You are not his therapist. This is his ohio & he needs to be in threapy if he even wishes to change this. If not then he needs to be with someone of the same background. I am sure he is a nice guy, but your background appears to be different. Just because you aren't compatiable doen't mean you need to kill yourself. I too was with a woman that was like that & it hurts, but you can not change them & they don't understand what it is they are doing wrong. As hard as it is to do, it is time to move on & find someone with the same background. Someone who had a good background & not a shitty one. It is not his fault. None of us are bad, it is just the circumstances or the way you were raised. Both of you need to find the person who can meet your needs. Life is not easy, but it helps us to become a stronger person & to over come obstacles like this as we get older. You never stop learning. In time you will meet the guy who is right for you. Just give life a chance. Don't take the easy way out. Life is short enough the way it is & we are here to enjoy it. That is the way God has planned it. Good Luck to you & stop giving to the wrong person.
I know this situation, same thing happened to my best friend! She did everything for this guy, and he did nothing in return. In all she met someone new, now she is happy! I believe that he is afraid to move anywhere else in your relationship. People tend to change after being with them for a while! He seems like he is bored of you. You can only give your self so much, and after nothing in return, your heart starts to want to leave. It's hard sometimes but you get over it. If you want more out of a relationship you have to move forward. He is not in love with you. Love is something that your mind makes up to feel wanted. An emotion that if someone is not able to help you feel okay, then you tend to wander. He can love you, but being in love is not the same as loving. You yourself are not in love with him, because you are asking this question, does he care? Love is when you care more about someone than yourself. He cares about you, but not more than himself, he cares for his own happiness than yours. He is using you to the full extent! For everything he wants. You should move on without him, that will do him good, as well as you. He will learn his lesson in time, and you can become happier faster, instead of just waiting. Love does not hate, judge, or use. These are things I truly believe.
Please call me when you are available! I have never heard of a girl doing this! You need a real life! dump the jerk! he is using you that is it! You are 100% correct breaking up with this guy. No man in his right mind would ask for 1/2 for marriage licence or any of the other stuff. sorry there is a nice guy out there for you!
WOW, yes you are being used save your money theres nothing wrong with paying for something everynow and then but ur definetly doing too much you cant buy love
Wow that was the longest question I've ever read on yahoo answers! But it was very touching. You didn't mention his age. He sounds very immature and young. You need to go out with some one older and more mature like me! Not to mention my other appeals. And NEVER commit suicide.
Sounds like it to me. Excluding holidays, does he ever just buy you things or randomly do anything nice for you? If not, sounds like he's using you.
Dont hesitate kick him to the kerb ---- he does not care about you at all ---- someone that will truly care will find you --- (i know i keep saying it --- its true) keep an open mind and dont say no to a relationship too early with someone you never thought you would date ---- hugs and best wishes
Ur definitely NOT wrong. He is being a total jackass. just live life. Be free. Calm down, don't freak.....its fine.