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She has always been kind of stingy about letting me borrow anything. She will take me out to dinner and not bat an eyelash at a bill that I find exorbitant, but if I need a reasonable sum of money to help me stay in school (to help buy food or books, etc.) she acts as if I'm trying to screw her out of her money, (even though she definitely has it) and makes up reasons not to give it to me, such as repairs on her home, etc. It always ends in an argument and I don't know what to do because I need her help. I'm really struggling right now (bouncing a rent check, late payments on a few things, etc.) but I'm receiving a student loan in about a month so I can definitely pay her back with interest. My question is, when I call her, how should I approach the situation so she doesn't flip on me? I was thinking of sending her a blank check or two so that she has a definite means of repayment from me.
Just explain the situation to her. Tell her you've worked hard the whole time you've been there, and you're really trying very hard to make it on your own, and that you just need a little help right now. Explain to her that you're really trying, and you just can't do it right now. I don't think that a child should have to pay their parents back interest. It's not a very loving thing for a parent to do. But it's not my family so... I also don't think it's unreasonable for you to ask your mother for some help. I mean, she shouldn't be paying for everything, but once in a while people just need some help. Probably a lot of people on here are going to call you a spoiled brat, and say how ungratefull, and horrible you are because you just expect your parents to give you money. You should ignore them, because they don't really know your situation, so they shouldn't be judging you. If your mother refuses to loan you any money though, you should just leave it at that. Don't argue with her about it, because she'll always remember that the next time you ask her for something. When I need money from my mother I usually tell her I just applied at Hooters. But that probably won't work so well on your mom.
My mother is exactly the same way. She spent a huge amount of money on a new bedroom set, when she knows even a few bucks of that would really help me out with school. I think that she thinks she is helping me to become more self-reliant, and if I ever just ask for money out of the blue, she goes into a tirade about how she has worked all of her life for what she has. She really doesn't care about me paying it back, that's not the point. The best way I have found to get money out of her is to mope around for a couple of days, even if it's on the phone, then when she asks what's wrong, I will tell her that I'm in desperate need of some money. That one is tried and true, and usually gets me a few bucks. :) Hope that helps.
I'VE HAD THE SAME PROBLEM. MY ADVICE TO YOU IS HOW GOOD ARE YOUR GRADES? DO YOU GOT A JOB PART TIME TO SHOW HER THAT YOUR MAKING SOME EXTRA MONEY AND PUTTING new-jersey THE EFFORT TO AT LEAST MAKE AN ATTEMPT SO SHE SEES YOUR TRYING TO PAY YOUR WAY? I'M SURE IF YOU ARE DOING THOSE THINGS SHE WOULD GIVE YOU SOME MONEY. THE REASON SHE MAY BE STINGY IS SOMETHING MIGHT OF HAPPENED TO HER new-jersey HER PAST THAT MAKES HER TIGHT WITH HER MONEY. MAYBE SHE DOESN'T GIVE YOU MONEY FOR BOOKS AND SUCH BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO SEE YOU SUCCEED AND TRY TO MAKE IT ON YOUR OWN. IF YOU DON'T DO GOOD new-jersey STUDIES AND DON'T HAVE A PART TIME JOB THEN WHY HELP YOU? YOUR new-jersey COLLEGE YOUR MAKING YOUR MARK ON THE WORLD. TELL HER THAT YOU NEED SOME MONEY BECAUSE COLLEGE IS NOT EASY AND THAT YOUR DOING YOUR BEST TO GET BY. LIKE YOU SAID TELL HER YOU WILL PAY INTEREST IF IT COMES DOWN TO IT. YOUR LOOKING FOR A HAND UP TELL HER. NOT A HAND OUT. HOPE THIS HELPS GOOD LUCK
I think your idea of the blank checks may be a good one, other than that I wouldn't know how to approach a stingy mother and actually get what I asked for. I'm a stingy mother and I don't give my grown kids any financial help that they don't absolutely need and there is a good reason for my being this way. I won't bore you with details, but wish you good luck.
Well I think you should just really pour your heart it. My mom could be the same way but I try my hardest not ask her for money, if I do its because I am at the poor house. Pour your heart out, put your cards on the table. Say mom look I am going through a lot right now and I really really could use your help. I am getting my student loan money next month and I can pay you back but it's just that now I am really stuck, financially. Can you please lend me some money until next month, I will pay you back. Mommy you know that I wouldn't ask you unless I really needed it.
I think the check thing would be a good stand that your going to stick to your word. Or offer to help her do something she needs done in exchange. Bouncing checks happens and if you tell her your exact money issues. Maybe she would rather help pay your rent instead of giving you the money directly. Talk to her like a normal person you would borrow money from and not like your mom.
"Mom, my student loan check is arriving on the 20th of August can you loan me X-amount till then and I will pay you back, if not I will be evicted, lights shut off, taken out back and shot or all the above. I know you know I will pay you back all that I owe you along with a kiss and a hug, okay Mom."
Explain the student loan situation to her and let her know you are willing to sign a contract that the two of you draw up together. If she agrees, make sure you stick to the terms of the contract.
Don't give her a blank check! Even though she's your mother and you trust her, you never know what can happen, like if she loses and someone steals it. Can you apply for a credit card?
People always ask to borrow money from me but i never did