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I currently live in California & my sister lives in Florida & we are two years apart(I am 33, she is 31) We have different fathers & she was raised by her father & I was raised by my father. We have always remained close, texting, talking & trying to visit each other. The past two years we have not communicated much due to her moving from new-jersey to Florida, then back to Florida, dumping her boyfriend & then getting back with her boyfriend. I have always been a lot more financially stable than my sister, she did not graduate high school & never tried to go to college or get her GED. I graduated high school & then went on to college & have been doing new-jersey for myself This has been a tough year for my sister, she has asked me if she could come & live with me, when I told her yes she quickly changed her mind & decided to move back in with her boyfriend, I have mailed her money before for her to pay her rent & cell phone bill, all I got in return was a thank you & nothing else, to promise to re-pay or anything. I look on my sister's facebook quite often & she is always partying, drinking & looks like she is having quite a good time. For the past few months I have text her to see how she is doing, with no text back ever, I write her on facebook, I get no reply. She completely ignores me, she will only call or text when she is in need. Today she text me & ask to borrow money. I didn't reply or anything. Should I reply & just simply tell her no or just ignore her
Sadly, your sister is freeloading and you are her willing victim. Sibling ties aside, she is taking advantage of your relationship and you need to say no, for sure. They way you say it, is..."No." If you wish to go into detail, you can briefly summarize that she appears to be living irresponsibly, not pulling her own weight, has never repaid you, contacts you only when she needs or wants something, which is not a mutual and loving relationship. You can tell her you still love her, and wish to maintain contact, if you do, but that the well has dried up when it comes to money or any other form of rescuing. She is a bottomless pit, so be prepared to stick to your guns and follow through , if you do this. Otherwise, you will lose your credibility and your credit. Good luck, Dr.S. P.S. I wouldnt worry too hard about being polite at this point. And, know that no one can take advantage of you, unless you are willing to let them!
You should reply. She needs to know that there are boundaries and limits, even with family, and that there is a line that can be crossed. It sounds like, based upon the few details you provided and her lack of consideration towards you, she might be blowing her money on an unhealthy lifestyle. If she was really struggling, she wouldn't be out partying (she is very expensive). If she can't get her life together or at least in a better situation then where she is currently out, she might have a substance abuse problem or another underlining issue. Let her know how much you love her and care about her. Tell her that you want to help her, but you can't loan her anymore money (you don't have too, and probably shouldn't, tell her the reason why). If you are still willing to let her move in, let her know that that offer is still wide open and that it's the best you can do to help her out right now.
I don't mean to offend you or your sister in anyway, but ignoring her isn't exactly wrong. If she is partying and spending YOUR money without a care, then only communicating with you for more, then I'm sorry to say so but she is using you. Hopefully you and your sister can meet in person to discuss your problems with her financially using you. Hope I helped out!
Get back to her. Explain that if she needs to borrow money then she needs to have a plan to pay you back. It sounds like she needs to take more responsibility for her life. Money doesn't grow on trees
Just ingore her she will get the pic and she should not use you for Money. you should reply saying pay me back the money you owe me 1st she sounds like she is just using you
Just tel her your in a tight spot and you cant spare any...