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Background: I had an argument with my father concerning financing my college education. My parents are divorced. My father only pays my mother $75 per month in child support for three children. My mother makes a little over 4x what my father does, but just finished her college education about three years ago. She is in a lot of debt from school and even though she makes more, because of this debt, we struggle to keep food on our table. There is not room for a dime of play in her budget, even though society says she should be doing alright based on her income. So, when it came time for school, she had no money to help. My first year of college I had to take out a private student loan with an interest rate of 24% ontop of a Stafford loan. My second year of school I asked my father if I could use his tax information on my FASFA to help keep the costs down. He refused stating that he paid my mom child support for a reason and she should be able to pay for our college educations. I was really upset. I wasn't asking to use his credit or anything else... just the information off his tax return. When I spoke with my financial aid advisor she told me I was allowed to claim either parent, so it didn't matter. He could of helped me greatly to continue my education by simply filling out a FASFA with me, but apparently this was out of the question. I got really upset and we both said things we shouldn't have said. I still feel really hurt and let down that he refused to do this one simple favor for me. He has not made an attempt to contact me or my two brothers in over a year... should I contact him and apologize? I have been awaiting an apology from him for a year :/
I had a somewhat similar situation with my dad. My dad never had to legally pay child support; my mom was afraid that if she took him to court, he'd never see me. Instead, he "kindly" paid $100 a month for my piano lessons. And I went to his house every other weekend. He moved to a really nice neighborhood with a fantastic new high school, and I tried moving in with him my Junior year for the better neighborhood and opportunities that the school could provide, but we couldn't get along. And when I told him I wanted to move back with my mom, he practically threw my into the car, drove me to my mom's (2 hours away) and said he'd ship my stuff there. We didn't talk for 6 months, until I called him. We chatted up just fine on the phone when I called, and when I asked him why he hadn't called, he said "because I didn't do anything wrong!" At my high school graduation, he refused to come because he didn't want to be in the same room with my mom. I asked him every day, plead with him to come, but he always said "only if your mom doesn't come!" I stressed over it every single day. The morning of my graduation ceremony, my grandmother called and said "call your dad, I think he's changed his mind!". When I called, he said "I'll come, but you have to keep that B**** away from me!" When college time came around, he helped pay for books and things, but all of the registration and college fees were paid for by the mississippi (Veterans Affairs; he had been in the Marines). He was very generous for birthday and Christmas gifts, but he was never a very nice person. I lived with him through half of college, and even though I was 21, he always insisted on knowing everything: where I was going, how long I'd be gone, who I was with, why I was drinking a soda, he treated me like a kid. Despite what he gave me, it just wasn't worth taking anymore, because everytime he wanted something, he used it over my head. So I moved in with my boyfriend. When we were engaged, he started making demands about the wedding: who he wanted to come, who he didn't want to come. And then he started making threats that he wouldnt' come if I didn't meet those demands. I reminded him of my high school graduation (which, of course, he didn't remember) and told him that I wasn't going to live a year of stress again; I wanted to know then and there if he was coming or not. He said "if you're going to put me on the spot like that, I'm going to have to say no!" I sent him all the invitations, just like everyone else, he RSVP'd no. I called him and told him even with the negative responses, he could still show up unannounced. He didn't come to me wedding. That was the last straw for me! With his behavior, his narcissism, and other poor treatment of me throughout my life, I decided to just keep him out of my life. He hasn't called, and I refuse to call him. His family keeps asking and begging me to call him; they want to keep the peace in the family, but I refuse to let him ruin my life any longer. When I was in contact with my dad, I was always stressed out and unhappy; constantly worried about what he would think, whether he would threaten to give or take something away from me because he didn't like my choices. I decided that his company wasn't worth it. You have to decide this for yourself. Sure, partially, it's a matter of pride; I don't feel that I shoudl be the one asking for forgiveness. Sometimes I feel bad that he won't meet his grandchildren (I have one son and another son on the way). But overall, I think i've made the decision so far. Life has been good for the last 4 years. If he ever calls and when our paths meet again (it's inevitable; I'm not going to miss my grandparent's 50 anniversary, or their funerals because I'm afraid of running into him), I'm determined to be as nice as possible. And who knows, maybe someday, we will reconcile. But right now, it doesn't seem possible. I'd rather be happy and let him be miserable alone. But these are all my problems. You have to look at your life and decide for yourself. Think about what a relationship with your father would come with...the good and the bad. If you reconcile with your dad again, you now know not to ask him for things. Try not to let pride be the reason you don't reconcile; you could me missing out on a lot. But look back...try and be honest with yourself...if you were unhappy when you were around your father, then maybe staying away from him is the best thing.
It depends on what you guys said listening to ur side of the story i wouldnt maybe i would just call and try and talk to him and move on without an apology