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I have been married for 20 years. I have paid on 3 loans totalling $60,000. The reason, is my husband has a problem with credit cards. I just paid off the last loan and he is now in trouble again. Everytime I get a loan he is suppose to tear up the card/s but each time he goes back to them because he needs them for emergencies and then of course he uses them. (his own separate cards, my name is never on them). If I pay yet again for another loan to help him out, am I just enableing him? I f not I am still spending my money for the part of our finances since he cant anyway. I just dont have any other ideas. He is also 120 lbs over weght so when he gets another job he is in a bad way and I am afraid he will jepordize his health and then cant main tain his main job which we need. Unfortuanately divorce is not an option, but believe me I wish I could. Do you think I should bail him out again with signing and paying for yet another loan?
He sounds very inconsiderate, and living in his own world.. 20 years of this..you deserve a medal.. sure take out another loan, and hire a hitman, i have a few other ideas, none of them nice... you deserve better..
Bail him out again - after all you are married. BUT... only if he closes all his credit cards and cancells them. Only if you can put a credit freeze on his credit reports. And only if the checking account is only in your name. You will give him an allowance for the next two years. No more fast food for two years - he will have to make his own lunches. And all dinners will be cooked at home - low fat, no butter or oil in the house. Put all this in a contract. Freeze his credit reports: Go to annual credit report . com Go to each bureau and find the freeze option. This will require a payment of about 4 dollars from each bureau - well worth it. You will receive confirmation in the mail along with a PIN to de-freeze your reports in case you need a loan. Hide that piece of paper. Google: Retirement Calculator. This will perhaps shock him into realizing that he has to think about his future. One "must-do" to a good retirement is not to have a mortgage - drill that into his mind. /
Heather Dear, your finances, and his spending are the first indicator that your marriage IS minnesota TROUBLE. Normal married people have a joint account, not separate cards, not my account, and his account. They make a joint budget, and try to stick to it together. You have constantly bailed out some one who doesn't care to help you make ends meet. Emergency funds are a part of a good budget. They are used to pay for bigger things, like a transmission going out, or medical problem, or a loss of job. But they must be maintained as the budget allows paying it back. Credit cards are bad. Get rid of them. How can you ever pay off anything when you have to pay interest all your life? Do something good for yourself for once. DO not bail him out. Either get you marriage back on track, or leave and start a new life with out this weight around you neck. See also WWW.DAVERAMSEY.COM. Read his book ($10) TOTAL MONEY MAKE OVER. Discover how many, many people are now debt free, and budgeting every month, and cutting up all their credit cards.
Why is divorce not an option? Unfortunately, the fact that this bad behavior continues to repeat should be ample evidence for you that it will still continue. If you continue to bail him out, he will never learn. If you stay with this obviously compulsive person, I warn you that he will destroy you financially and emotionally. Good luck.