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I've been in this relationship for 6 years now. When we first met, he didnt tell me the truth about his situation until a year later. He had 5 kids instead of 3, he lived with the mother of 3 of them who was pregnant at the time. A whole year passed and I didnt know anything about the child. Also, he's still married to another woman who has a daughter for him. Then theres one in indiana who is the same age as his first son, so this guy has been really busy. As it stands now, I have 3 of my own- 2 of them are adults and attend college and Thank God I had none with him. He has a problem with my youngest son. My son was not the best behaved child in the world, but I've been dealing with it. I've taken him to therapy and put him on punishments whenever needed. He's 17 now and has done a 360. I just felt he was going through it since his father died when he was 2 and I never brought a man around until he was 11. My boyfriend constantly brings up all the bad things that my son has done in the past 6 years and holds it against him. Its as if he takes mental notes on his past transgressions. I just see it as growing pains. But my son has changed so much and is about to go into the military, so I don't bother about the past. I'm very proud of him. My boyfriend has had a very terrible childhood as both his parents were on drugs and he was made to work at age 12 and care for his little sisters. This has left him to be very moody and vindictive. He practices this on me and my kids. For example, he would hide the remote for the television and DVD player while we're at work so my kids won't watch television. But on the other hand, he'll switch up and do something nice later on. Its sickening. I believe he's either bi-polar or a manic depressive. He just started therapy, but its not working. He's fun to be around one day and then the next day, he's mean and evil for no reason. To top it all off, we just leased a new home. He has 2 jobs that he works pays child support with barely anything left over for our bills. He has no car as he loaned his out to his abusive father and he ended up blowing the engine and not even bothering to help repair it. So now, all we have is my car which he drives all of the time. I'm tired of this because I think I've done more than humanly possible. Before I met him, I lived in a nice 3 bedroom with my 3 children in a nice area with a good job and a nice car. Now, 2 of my kids are adults, I still have a good job, I'm struggling to pay bills and could never drive my own car. I like to have my Saturdays to myself to run errands. Anytime I do that, there's always a problem. I just want my freedom again. I just want a peace of mind. I would rather do bad by myself. The thing is, if I left him today I would not be able to pay my bills by myself and he would have no vehicle to get back and forth to work. I know this is a lot, and the answer is right in my face, I just need a boost to help me get the hell out of this nightmare.
I didn't have to read your text to answer your question. Basically you're scared of leaving because you're scared of the unknown, you've become accustom to a certain way of living. Your relationship with him is secured, stable and safe. I can't tell you what to do but if you're really unhappy and you feel you've done everything to make this relationship work, than maybe it's time for you to consider leaving.
You know what you have to do, he has only braught you down, and will continue to do so if you dont leave, and who the hell does he think he is, not having anytghing good to say about your son, thats bs, im willing to bet your son is 100 times more of a man then your bf, he has no right to ever disrespect someone elses child, he is a total loser,i feel so bad for you, but you have to get away from him, asap. start saving money, look for another job, whatever you gotta do to get out and back on your own, theres lots of programs out there to help you to. like im on a program that pays a part of my rent every month, and they paid for the deposit for me to get in there,start checking into all that stuff, and dont feel guilty for leaving him and taking YOUR car, i do understand though cuz im the same way, but sounds like he hasnt done much for you, but you have done alot for him, so dont feel guilty one bit, you deserve way better, you deserve to be happy, you cant just keep letting him bring you down, you know that leaving is the right choice, he will just have to accept that.and even though your so unhappy with him, it will be hard for awhile, really hard, you were with this person for 6 years, you love(ed) him, your use to him, it will take you awhile to adjust and im sure it will be painful, but only for awhile, after 6 years, you cant forget about someone over night, but as long as u realize its going to be really hard for awhile, you will be able to get through it, and keep in mind that this is what you have to do to be happy again, and you will be. good luck.
Its hard to walk away from a long term relationship, you feel like if you leave now, you wasted all that time for nothing. but you have to think of yourself and the kids. i know they aren't babies anymore but they are still your babies....find someone who does for you what you have done for him. Wouldn't that be great? To have a man give as much of himself as you have givin to other people....I'd love that. If you stay....it will just be that much more time you are wasting. Life is too short to be filled with regrets and what ifs...
When I left my crazy first husband I had to borrow money. When things are wrong you need to find a way to leave before it gets worse. This guys history should be enough to make you run like a rabbit!
You must really be depserate to be with such a loser, especially one that wants to talk negatively about your own son. Who cares about money, your dignity and your children take precedence.
You need to end it this guy has a lot of issues going on and you deffinetly don't want to be apart of that.. it seems hard because you are so used to him being apart of your life that it seems weird for him not to be there. but end it and everything will be fine... you will get hrough it and eventually get used to being independent again. you shouldn't put yourself through this. life is to short
I doubt some stranger online is going to be able to give you the boost you need.... Here's a start... BOOST!!! lol... You know what to do already... So, like a Nike commercial, just do it!
You need to do what's best for you and your youngest child. Your bf is not your responsibility.
I feel ur adult children should start working and earning